5 Steps to Break Free from the Self Sabotage Myth
22 Jan 2010 - 
Continued from Successful Self Employment News subscribe
Over the past week I heard friends and clients wonder if we unknowingly sabotage our success. It’s a common thought, but that does not make it true.
I’ve come to believe self sabotage is a Law of Attraction myth.
How it usually operates is: you set an intention – e.g., to start an exercise program, to write one press release a month about your company, to come home from your job and spend two hours a night on your home business.
And then… “something happens.” The vet says says your dog needs tests, you take an out-of-town business trip, your parents are moving and need extra help.
Pffftt! (That’s the sound your plans make as they evaporate).
So what’s really going on when this happens? And what can you do about it?
What’s really going on is…
Life. Regardless how well you master the art of working with the Law of Attraction, you aren’t in control of all outside circumstances. So sorry…
Real Life Example. Yesterday I spent nearly 6 hours at the Denver airport in hopes that a flight might be able to take off for San Diego. Didn’t happen. It occurred to me that flights went to Port-au-Prince Haiti that day (thankfully), but no flights could get to San Diego. Hmmm.
The problem is not life. We can count on life happening. The problem is our thought that any delays or blocks to our plans must be our fault. “I know I’m sabotaging myself.”
The self-incriminating thought is the problem.
Now let’s look at what to do about it.
Caroline Myss writes about The Saboteur as an “archetype of survival” in her work on “sacred contracts.”
I don’t like to get hung up on “sacred contracts” – if they exist, who made them? We did! And we can unmake them. Yet people justify all kinds of dis-empowering situations as “a sacred contract I have.” Maybe you have it so you can finally free yourself of it! Still, the archetypes themselves are useful.
About the Saboteur, Myss writes: “…the purpose of this archetype is not to sabotage you but to help you learn the many ways in which you undermine yourself.”
So then…two points about the saboteur:
1 – It’s an archetype. That means it lives within all of us. You cannot completely eliminate it.
2 – Its purpose is to help us. It’s designed – as is every irritant – to wake us up. I haven’t yet found any exception to this principle: all irritants are designed to wake us up.
5 steps to take when you’re gripped by fear that you are sabotaging your own dreams
1. Chill out. There’s nothing wrong with you. The saboteur lives in every human. It’s universal.
2. Notice what you feel. Discouraged? Afraid you will never have what you want? Disappointed in yourself? Admit it! You can’t change it if you don’t admit it’s there. Cry if you have to, it’s OK.
3. Remember that the only reason negative thoughts feel crummy is because your Inner Being or soul does not accept them as true! When you think you’re self sabotaging, it feels terrible.
People ask in frustration: “WHY would I do this to myself? Can I really be that afraid of success?” Take a hint from yourselves, folks. No one is afraid of success. Duh. In your heart and soul you already know this. Sure you can spend a decade in therapy, Landmark education or 12-step programs – and that may be exactly what helps you discover how OK you really are (and I’ve had plenty of therapy and more…).
Or you can take the EASY Law of Attraction shortcut and remember: when you think thoughts that feel bad, the only reason they feel bad is because your soul does not agree with them.
4 .Decide you will find a way to move forward with your plans anyway. You may do less, you may postpone a piece till later, you may delegate part of it. Most of us get so stuck in step 2, we wallow in self judgment. This suffering is optional and blocks us from receiving alternatives. When you decide to find a way forward, you stop the negative spiral, open up new possibilities, and re-start momentum. Instantly.
5. Acknowledge yourself. “I found a way to keep myself moving forward, and I acknowledge myself for doing this.” You may think this is too minor to make a difference. Actually, the minor things, practiced regularly, make ALL the difference.
Self sabotage (and all archetypes) exist to be used by us for the purpose of waking up. The choice is ours.
You can use self sabotage to stay in the old habitual dark places – just keep beating yourself up over it.
OR: use self sabotage as a beacon to light your path to greater self love and expanded consciousness. The 5 Steps give you an EASY way to do it.
Move through these 5 steps once or twice and they become your new habit. Relief!
Move through them even once and the Law of Attraction responds immediately by opening new ways for your plans to unfold perfectly.
Will all the interruptions and upsets in your life cease if you follow the 5 steps?
I’ve found that’s not a useful question. The Law of Attraction is not about controlling life. It’s about flowing with it.
To your successful self employment!
Andrea
Law of Attraction, SSE Newsletters
Comments (2) |
Funny how you always seem to know what I’m thinking. I was just thinking about this very subject today, noticing that my life is so great right now that I hope I don’t get too comfortable or my actions won’t match the results I want. Then, I remember that it’s not about my action, but about my connection to source that really makes the difference in my life.
http://www.besthealthfoodstore.net/index.htmlI absolutely love your newsletter! Thank you for your turnaround on this old worn out habit/belief/story. Your words feel so true and it just makes sense. I love the Truth that my soul always knows what “Its” doing! Thank you so much.